Forgiveness Poll

Back in March I started a 60 day poll on forgiveness. Thank you to all who participated! I love receiving your feedback.

My own feelings about forgiveness continually change:

· At one point, I wanted to forgive, but I didn’t know how.

· Then I took a stab at “forced” forgiveness – and got hurt again!

· For many years after that, I was very angry about the pressure I felt from others to forgive, because I knew that forgiveness wasn’t healthy for me at that point.

· I was so hurt, that I was sure that I would never forgive.

· Then, I decided I wouldn’t forgive unless certain conditions were met.

· After years of healing, safety (and estrangement), I was surprised to find myself “feeling” forgiving.

· I came to believe that forgiveness was a journey that may - or may not have a final destination - after adequate healing has taken place.

· Eventually, my mother called me (after 14 years of estrangement), and apologized for my abuse – this afforded me a new level of forgiveness otherwise not available without her participation.

I’ve learned to respect each necessary part of my process and the varying viewpoints I have had along the way – and to support other individual’s experiences with forgiveness and/or not forgiving. During the span of the last thirty years – given where I was on my recovery at the time - I could have voted for seven out of the eleven choices here.

I decided to continue the poll indefinitely with my continued thanks to all who participate. Your views are most welcome! Thank You!

To date, these are the results:

Poll: How much has forgiveness played a role in your recovery from abuse:

 ·        None – I don’t think about forgiveness at all.                                 1 – 3%

·        Somewhat – Plays a small roll in my process.                                2 – 7%

·        Somewhat - I don’t want to forgive and I’m okay with that.    1 – 3%

·        Somewhat – Forgiveness is a journey and I’m comfortable     9 – 34%
                             with my pace. 

·        Quite a bit – I’d like to forgive, but I am unable.                               1 – 3%

·        Quite a bit – I won’t forgive unless some conditions are met. 2 – 7%

·        Quite a bit – I have forgiven.                                                                            3 – 11%

·        Huge - I’ll never forgive.                                                                                      1 – 3%

·        Huge – Makes me angry. I feel damaged by pressure from      4 – 15%
                others to forgive.

·        Huge – My abuser acknowledged my injuries, asked for           1 – 3%
                forgiveness and I have forgiven.               

·        None of the above.                                                                                                      1 – 3%