Were You Expecting to arrive at Heal and Forgive? If so you were re-directed to my new blog.

The Heal and Forgive blog was born out of the publication of my first book, “Heal and Forgive.” I am happy that the blog has been helpful to a robust readership.

After my publisher recently went out of business the book was re-released under the title, “Mother, I Don’t Forgive You,” which is more in keeping with the premise of the book. I decided to re-title my blog along with the book.

I hope you will continue to peruse the posts and join in on the various discussions including our right as survivors to decide our own healing journey, with or without forgiveness.

The back story on the title change can be found on the post directly below:

Featured Post

Mother, I Don’t Forgive You – Why the Book and Blog Were Re-Titled

In 1992, after nearly a decade of trying desperately to forgive my mother, my life was spinning out of control.   Not only had I failed at f...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Analogies

I like analogies. Often during my healing process, analogies have helped me wrap my head around concepts by making them clearer. Yesterday, I heard Dr. Robin Smith use an analogy on Oprah and Friends radio that I found interesting. Her analogy was called “Taking an air-conditioner into hell.”

She said that we all find ourselves in circumstances that are slowly killing us either, physically, emotionally, or spiritually and we stay in hell while we try to mitigate the damage in order to endure our situation. She said this was like, “Taking an air-conditioner into hell, rather than leaving hell and beginning to heal.”

Prior to adequate healing and understanding my patterns of behavior, a number of stressful or damaging relationships affected my life. These failures manifested themselves from my old programming – misplaced trust and inappropriate responses. I responded to feelings of betrayal out of fear, focusing on the other individual rather than resolutely safeguarding my own well-being.

Some of these relationships were so toxic that I needed to move on. For others, it was a matter of learning to exercise clear, respectful boundaries in order to leave my own personal hell behind and let the healing begin.

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3 comments:

  1. Strong and determinedAugust 23, 2008 at 9:50 PM

    I absolutely can relate to this post. Thank you for posting the analogy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 10, 2009 at 7:25 AM

    Nancy, Thank you so much for sharing this post. I have struggled greatly in these same areas, and I am wondering if you might share some qualities which you came to understand were red flags in regard to unhealthy relationships/friendships, vs. qualities of healthy relationships and safe individuals. Any insight you wish to share would be so appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  3. healandforgiveApril 10, 2009 at 7:52 AM

    Dear Anonymous,

    Thank you for your insightful question. I'm going to think about this a little, and I'll write my thoughts in a post.

    Thanks again,
    Nancy

    ReplyDelete

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