Were You Expecting to arrive at Heal and Forgive? If so you were re-directed to my new blog.

The Heal and Forgive blog was born out of the publication of my first book, “Heal and Forgive.” I am happy that the blog has been helpful to a robust readership.

After my publisher recently went out of business the book was re-released under the title, “Mother, I Don’t Forgive You,” which is more in keeping with the premise of the book. I decided to re-title my blog along with the book.

I hope you will continue to peruse the posts and join in on the various discussions including our right as survivors to decide our own healing journey, with or without forgiveness.

The back story on the title change can be found on the post directly below:

Featured Post

Mother, I Don’t Forgive You – Why the Book and Blog Were Re-Titled

In 1992, after nearly a decade of trying desperately to forgive my mother, my life was spinning out of control.   Not only had I failed at f...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

My Top Ten List of Points to Consider Before Reconciling.

After a fourteen-year family estrangement, one of my brothers contacted me. I was shocked! My heart pounded with excitement and fear. I thought that we would never speak again.

Am I ready to reconcile? Will I be hurt again if I take this leap?

In the quiet of my home, I ran a list of points to consider:
  1. Can I handle the possibility of being rejected all over again?
  2. Have we both experienced significant emotional growth and change since we estranged?
  3. Can I trust myself to set and maintain clear, respectful, boundaries?
  4. Do I feel the need to engage in old arguments and to "change" his perceptions, or can I respond differently to old family patterns?
  5. Am I able to stand confidently in my own separate identity?
  6. Do I feel the need to rehash the past?
  7. Have I healed sufficiently to differentiate between old painful experiences and the occasional present day hurt feelings?
  8. Is the threat of physical and/or emotional violence still present in my family?
  9. Am I still angry? Is he still angry?
  10. Will reconciliation add to or detract from my life?


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