Each time I had contact with one of my family members, I needed recovery time to absorb a wide range of conflicting emotions: sadness, joy, uncertainty, hope, sorrow, and issues of trust. Contrary to the old ways, of “powering” through each event, I remained present with my feelings, staying true to myself and let my well-being guide me.
At first my movements were slow and tentative. I kept my visits brief and didn’t discuss difficult issues that came up with my family until I had time to work through intense emotions alone or with supportive friends.
I took baby steps while I began to build trust – both in myself and with my family members.
Nancy: I have yet to go see my father who is in a nursing home with alzheimers. I didn't go see him on Father's Day, and it did bother me because I didn't go, I am trying to get the courage to go see him soon again, but everytime I try it brings back bad memories. I feel guily beause I had promised my mom I would see him. Taking baby steps is a great thing to do, and mabye that is what I need to do also, thanks for a great post..Mary
ReplyDeleteMary,
ReplyDeleteEven pondering is a baby step.
Ultimately, we should do whatever gives us the most peace - whether it is going or not going.
If you do go see your father, make sure you place your own well-being first during the visit, and have a good support person (or system) to either take with you or to help "debrief" you afterwards.
Take care,
Nancy